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The Petraeus Files: All the Photos, Chats, Poems, and Other Super-Secret Emails They Don't Want You to See, by Ted Travelstead
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WARNING: The satire you are about to read will change the way you look at our nation's leaders. FOREVER.
In November 2012, General David Petraeus stepped down from his post as director of the CIA when it was exposed that he'd had an affair with his biographer, Paula Broadwell. The political scandal that unfolded would eventually include four-star generals, socialites, FBI agents, the Army, a stuffed Sasquatch, and the entire cast of TLC's Sister Wives.
Hundreds, thousands―maybe millions―of e-mails were exchanged between these parties. Their computers have been seized by the government, and those e-mails would likely never see the light of day. . . .
However, access to these confidential documents has been obtained by a most unlikely source: comedian Ted Travelstead. Through a perfect storm of dumb luck, desperation, and a favor from a friend with a working computer, Travelstead managed to secure these e-mails. He has pored over reams of pages to give you an inside look at The Petraeus Files.
Prepare to be amazed by:
*The coded phrases Gen. Petraeus and his mistress Paula Broadwell used to keep their rendezvous private, and the numerous nicknames they had for each other ("Peaches: I want your plums in my juicer.")
*Florida socialite Jill Kelley's official titles: Vice Consul of Sweet Times, Ambassador of Lady Town, Lil' Mayor Push-N-Pull, and Undersecretary of All Things Considered, to name a few.
*Gen. John Allen's previously unknown penchant for Nip/Tuck fan fiction
With exclusive e-mails, chats, photographs, and illustrations, this is a book that will change the way you look at the military, our nation's leaders, and the phrase "rear admiral."
- Sales Rank: #2601363 in Books
- Published on: 2013-02-12
- Released on: 2013-02-12
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .40" w x 5.50" l, .35 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 176 pages
About the Author
TED TRAVELSTEAD is a writer and performer. He is a co-author of SEX: Our Bodies, Our Junk, a contributor to Care To Make Love In That Gross Little Space Between Cars?: A Believer Book of Advice, and has written for Esquire, Vanity Fair, Radar, and McSweeney's, among other publications. As an actor he has appeared onstage performing sketch and stand-up at various venues in New York City, and in a broad range of films, comedic shorts, and music videos. He is a frequent tweeter; follow him at @trumpetcake.
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Hilarious
By Andrew Condell
Ted Travelstead has a unique comedic voice and puts it to very good use here satirizing the Petraeus scandal. It's funny, strange and ridiculous without being mean spirited. I have no idea what the real life Petraeus or any of these people are like but I can only hope they are half as vulnerable, bizarre and likable as the characters Travelstead has created.
It's a very funny read and I highly recommend it.
Andrew Condell
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Clever and hilarious
By JohnnyO_71
I first discovered Ted Travelstead when I purchased the excellent Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk. Since then, I have been following him on Twitter (as should you-->@trumpetcake). He is consistently the funniest, most interesting and innovative person in my feed.
Despite my being Canadian and having only a marginal awareness of/interest in the Petraeus scandal, when I heard that Travelstead had written a satirical book about the affair, I circled the upcoming publication date. I purchased the Kindle edition and, as I assumed I would, found the book to be hilarious. You don't have to have any real knowledge of the real-life scandal; Ted creates his own world complete with endearing characters. From The General's aw-shucks, moron-level naïveté to Jill's endless supply of email signature titles, the book kept me smiling (and laughing aloud several times) throughout.
Highly recommeded. And, seek out Ted's other writings and performances.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
All the best comedy LOOKS easy.
By Peter Waldron
I laughed. I cried (but that's a personal problem I have and has nothing to do with Ted Travelstead's work). I first discovered his absurdist take on the world via twitter (where he goes by @trumpetcake) a few years ago, and he has been making me laugh on a daily basis since then. Every comedian, pro and wannabe, took their shots at the Petraeus scandal when the story broke, but only Ted had the cajones, and more importantly the comedic chops, to put together this extended riff on the affair. Eggheads talk about two different kinds of satire–Juvenalian, which is the vicious, mean-spirited, tear-the-world-down kind, and Horatian, the kind that Travelstead practices here. It recognizes that even when people deserve to be taken down a bit, they're still people, and a recognition of them as such, married with a bit of "there but for the grace of God go I," only serves to deepen the humor.
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